Whenever I go to the grocery store, I notice that most people fall into specific locations of the store
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Odd people: See another upcoming observation		Older people: seem to hang out in the produce section, or in the candy section – where they will tell anyone who’ll listen that they wish they could eat candy but the doctor told them they cannot partake anymore. They offer good advice like, "take care of your health because when you get old, it's H*LL."		Single guys: If it is a Friday or Saturday night, they will be in the beer/snack section. If it is a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, they will be in the beer/snack section and grabbing up 20 pounds of burger for a BBQ.		Single yuppies: If it’s a woman, she can be seen running to the meat section, grabbing up meat for steak tartar that she will "whip up into something fascinating". Then she’ll sprint to the toiletries aisle to grab up panty hose and a leg razor. You can tell she has a date that night because she will tap her foot impatiently while alternating looking a her watch and counting the items in the basket in front of her in the 10 items or less lane. If it’s a man, he will be seen grabbing up a bunch of flowers, a loaf of bread, and a bunch of carrots with greens [because it looks good hanging over the top of a paper bag], along with a heady, but full bodied bottle of wine. Oh yeah, he’ll be a lucky man tonight! He also answers incoming call from his cell phone in the frozen food section and talks loudly about his upcoming business strategy until he is out of the store.		Regular people [like me] shop normal, with a list, up and down the aisles [checking first to see if it is really necessary to venture down every aisle]. We unload our carts quickly, have our money or debit card ready and have enough time to observe people!
Yuppie couples or DINKs: Travel extremely close to the cart – with their calculators handy. Generally, they shop around the perimeter of the store [one person watches the cart while the partner sprints up and down the aisle picking up bargains]. However when these couples venture down an aisle together, they will argue long enough to bunge up the aisle in both directions. The arguments are usually the difference between $0.02 and $0.0257 per ounce of whatever.		Moving Body Masses: Not to be sexist, but generally the leader of the pack is a mom with one kid in the cart seat, two older kids running around the moving cart playing ‘tag’ with a loaf of french bread and occasionally a toddler in the basket [if it’s a small shopping excursion]. While watching this writhing mass of people which seemingly moves in chaotic unison, you will notice little kid hands reaching to the left of the aisle grabbing sweets and placing them into the cart while mom is reaching to the right of the aisle grabbing canned spinach. Then while traveling up the next aisle, you notice the mom taking the cookies out of the cart and putting them into the coffee section, while the kids are reaching for the canned spinach and putting behind rolls of toilet paper. That’s why when you are at the checkout and you see this frazzled mom with all of these kids screaming, "We’re starving!" You can understand that the only thing she could purchase was a package of diapers, 2 gallons of milk, a jar of peanut butter a six pack of beer and condoms. If you listen long enough to the moving body mass rolling the cart outside, you’ll hear mom say, "Who wants a Big Mac or Happy Meal?"
Mini body masses: Not to be sexist, but generally the leader of the pack is a dad who has visitation privileges that weekend. The mass does not move as a tight unit, but rather as the dad acting as an anchor for the cart, while the kids run to the toy section, cookie section, potato chip section and ice cream section. The kids will only stop running around long enough to visit the cart to drop their bounty in dad’s cart. Commonly known as "guilt grocery shopping". If the dad wants to them to quit running around and accompany the cart, the kids will start piping in that they want to go the amusement park, the zoo, the playground, the swimming pool, miniature golf, the movies, whatever. Dad will tell the kids to go look at the comic books. The kids come back with sports and teen magazines and a watermelon.